Things We Say

At Collin's bedtime:

Me: Did you vent Collin already?

Kyle: No, can you do that while I put the BiPAP machine together? The venting syringe might be in the bathroom.

Me: Sure. Want me to clean his g-tube, too?

Kyle: That would be great. Do we have distilled water for the BiPAP?

Me: Um. I think it's holding the guest room door open. Collin, hold still!

[Collin kicks me in the stomach because I'm tickling him while I clean his g-tube.]

Me: Kyle, how were Collin's ketones? His face seems kind of red.

Kyle: I think they were like four-point-eight. Glucose was seventy-seven. 

Me: Hm, that seems kind of low for as active as he was today. OW!

[Collin kicks me in the butt because I'm too dumb to get out of the way. He laughs when I yell.]

Kyle: Your ketones must be low because you're so sweet, Collin.

Me: Maybe. Or it could be because of all the Pop Rocks Daddy gave you at dinner.